Thursday, April 26, 2012

An ideal husband

When it comes to love, we tend to place too much emphasis on "finding the right person" as opposed to "being the right person". This seems somewhat backwards to me. After all, what's the use of searching for a particular set of qualities if you're not willing to embody them yourself? And how do you expect someone to appreciate you for what you are if you don't learn to appreciate yourself the same way?

I have not been a perfect man all throughout this marriage, but it's never too late to start being what you want in a relationship. From this day forward, I am rededicating myself to the following principles:
  • AVAILABILITY. Always make the effort be there, never forget how easy it can be to slip away. Love dies in increments, not in waves.
  • DESIRABILITY. Look and act like you deserve this person. If there is any positive change to make, make it.
  • FLEXIBILITY. It's a give and take, and you must live without taking sometimes. Stay connected to what you are willing to give up and what you are not.
  • ADAPTABILITY. You are growing together. If you wanted to grow alone, you wouldn't have made the decision to do it with another person.
  • SPONTANEITY. Nothing is more dreary than having another person all figured out. Start by surprising yourself, then work on the other person.
  • PRIORITIZE. Sometimes things that seem urgent really aren't. Think about the order in which things should be done before you get caught up in something trivial.
This is a start, but I'm open to suggestions. Help me be a better man and I will find myself in an even better relationship.

1 comment:

Tracie said...

I think it takes both: finding the right person and being the right person. But once you've made your decision, I think the focus needs to shift. You can't change someone, but you can change yourself.

It's cliche, but I think the most important thing a person can do in a relationship is listen and validate the other person's feelings.

I think your list looks pretty good though.