Saturday, July 23, 2011

Recurring dreams

This is a partial list of the dreams I have over and over again:

1. Zombie attack. I rarely have nightmares, but when I do they're either about this or trying to escape from an insane killer (I used to have nightmares about Jesus, but those don't happen anymore). One thing that always happens in my zombie dreams is I have to kill a zombie, or horde of zombies without the use of firearms. I have to bludgeon their skulls in, or cut their heads off, with whatever improvised item I find. And it always takes more than one swing to kill a zombie.

2. Back to school. Everybody pretty much gets this one. Where it's the end of the semester and you're in some class, and you realize you stopped going to this class after the first week or so, and you have no idea what's going on in it, and you're about to fail the final? What's unique about me is I've actually done this, several times. I had a Tuesday-Thursday English class that I could've passed in my sleep, except it was at 7 a.m. so I rarely if ever got up on time. Ever since I graduated, I've been dreaming that my diploma is actually invalid, because of this one class I failed to complete.

3. My brother pisses me off. And I always lose all my patience with him, and I try to punch him in the face, but my punches are weak and they rarely connect. It's like when you're trying to run in your dreams, but your feet have turned into lead. And yes, this is probably because I've done this in real life, too.

4. Stuck at church. In this one I'll be at my old church house, and I won't be able to leave for whatever reason. Sometimes I'm waiting for a ride, sometimes my parents are there and they have meetings. Most recently, I was playing basketball at church when a congregation suddenly came in and set up all the chairs for men to sit in and sing "My Girl" in a choir. After the song, I was waiting for them to clear the chairs so we could keep playing.

5. Eating/drinking something nasty Unlike the others, I actually know why I have this one. I breathe with my mouth open when I sleep, so it gets all dry in there and tastes like boiled ass. So when that happens and it's morning, I'll have dreams that I'm eating or drinking everything I can to get rid of the taste, and it doesn't work. Everything tastes like my mouth. Milkshakes, handfuls of bugs, KFC Famous Bowls, a cup full of wet cement, doesn't matter. The taste gets worse and worse until I wake up.

So, what do you think these mean? What scenes does your subconscious replay over and over again?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Firsts part 2

These are way too specific to apply to anybody but me. But I enjoyed reading yours, so if you have any other firsts you'd like to share, or if you want to know any more of mine let me know.
First favorite movie: Back To The Future

First movie to make me cry: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory

First video game I ever bought with my own money: Donkey Kong for the Game Boy

First CD I ever shoplifted: The Crow: City of Angels Soundtrack

First song I learned to play on guitar: Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Under The Bridge"

Saturday, July 9, 2011


First movie I ever saw: Return of the Jedi (according to my mom. I would've been 5 months old)

First cassette single: Color Me Badd - All For Love

First CD: Boyz II Men - II

First video game system: Atari

First favorite musician: Michael Jackson

First Halloween costume (that I chose): The Flash

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The persistence of memory

Of course I always knew that time would seem to accelerate exponentially as I got older. What I didn't expect was that things that happened so recently would feel like they happened forever ago. The cliche I heard the most about growing up was that everything feels like it happened "only yesterday". That's not been my experience.

What I didn't forsee was that my life would split into two phases. I can draw a clear line between Before I Found Out Wendy Was Pregnant and After I Found Out Wendy Was Pregnant, and everything B.I.F.O.W.W.P. seems like it came from an entirely different life than A.I.F.O.W.W.P. And I realize now that this is how I will view the rest of my life. My memories from before that time will always seem far, far removed from where I am today, no matter how vivid they are or how closely they resemble my current life. And my memories from after will always seem like they just happened, even though so much has changed since then.

I'm kind of OK with this. I can pinpoint the exact moment where I became old, or at least where I came to terms with the age I am. And my life changed in so many ways that it's not even recognizable with what it used to be like. There are times when I miss my life B.I.F.O.W.W.P., but I had plenty of that life, I know what it was like, and it's impossible to go back to that, so there's not a whole lot of point in dwelling on it.

What this is all saying is that I'm now in the second phase of my life, and I'm only now just realizing it. There may be more, but this is definitely a distinctly second phase. Maybe there will be a time someday where this phase feels like it happened much longer ago than it does now. It seems like it would take something pretty drastic to transition into another phase, though. It took having a kid just to have more than one.