Friday, October 28, 2011

Rules for trick-or-treat houses

1. Please, give out the good stuff. The following candies are acceptable: Butterfinger, Baby Ruth, Snickers, Peanut M&Ms, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Milky Way. Everything else is getting either tossed in the garbage or stuffed to the bottom of a sad months-old halloween sack where it will never see the light of day again. Reduce candy waste; give us candy that will actually get eaten.

2. Turn the light on. Don't make us guess whether you're home or not. There are kids walking up to your porch unsupervised; would you want your kids wandering alone into some stranger's darkened abode? If you want to create a spooky atmosphere, decorate. If you want your house to be skipped, good job.

3. Don't comment on every costume. If you see one that is unique or clever or otherwise deserves mention, go ahead and take a moment to point it out. Otherwise, throw your candy in the bags and move on. It's a busy night.

4. Don't ask me if I'm too old to be trick-or-treating. I take offense to that question. For all you know, I have a rare disease condition like Robin Williams in "Jack" and I age 20 years too fast and I'll be dead and old by the time I'm 11.

5. Remember: you are the greatest hero in America. You are keeping the best holiday tradition that we have alive. Take pride in what you do, and never forget your importance. After all, the little trick-or-treaters of today are the future trick-or-treat givers of tomorrow. You are making the future better for everyone.


Austin said...

you have to add skittles and starburst to the mix at least, otherwise you run the danger of getting sick of chocolate, and we can't have that.

Wendy McMillan said...

Sick of chocolate? Austin, what planet are you from? But I agree, a little fruit never hurt anybody. It's more to take a break from the chocolate so when you revert back to the chocolate, it tastes better than ever.

Love these rules. Can't wait to see tomorrow and Monday's hauls!! Don't forget to ask for extra candy for Little Sister.

Jacob I. McMillan said...

I forgot about Twix, too. Especially if it's the rare peanut butter Twix. But yeah, those are the only two tolerable forms of fruit candy.