1. Please, give out the good stuff. The following candies are acceptable: Butterfinger, Baby Ruth, Snickers, Peanut M&Ms, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Milky Way. Everything else is getting either tossed in the garbage or stuffed to the bottom of a sad months-old halloween sack where it will never see the light of day again. Reduce candy waste; give us candy that will actually get eaten.
2. Turn the light on. Don't make us guess whether you're home or not. There are kids walking up to your porch unsupervised; would you want your kids wandering alone into some stranger's darkened abode? If you want to create a spooky atmosphere, decorate. If you want your house to be skipped, good job.
3. Don't comment on every costume. If you see one that is unique or clever or otherwise deserves mention, go ahead and take a moment to point it out. Otherwise, throw your candy in the bags and move on. It's a busy night.
4. Don't ask me if I'm too old to be trick-or-treating. I take offense to that question. For all you know, I have a rare disease condition like Robin Williams in "Jack" and I age 20 years too fast and I'll be dead and old by the time I'm 11.
5. Remember: you are the greatest hero in America. You are keeping the best holiday tradition that we have alive. Take pride in what you do, and never forget your importance. After all, the little trick-or-treaters of today are the future trick-or-treat givers of tomorrow. You are making the future better for everyone.