+
=
At least, according to the students that I substitute teach. Agree or disagree?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tony Hawk + Napoleon Dynamite = Jacob Jake
So apparently,
+
=
At least, according to the students that I substitute teach. Agree or disagree?
+
=
At least, according to the students that I substitute teach. Agree or disagree?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Boom shaka laka
If you haven't played the new NBA Jam game for the Wii yet, you're probably wondering how different it is from the classic SNES home version. More importantly, do these differences improve on an already classic game? Here's Jacob's breakdown to the rescue:
IMPROVEMENTS
- They added a crossover dribble move which players can use to blow past defenders while avoiding shoves and swipes. It is difficult to execute, but worth it.
- Teammates can now throw alley-oops to each other. This is by far the biggest improvement on the original, as it's basically unstoppable once you get it down, although it does require a modicum of planning if you're doing 2 players co-op.
- There are several different game modes, including 21, Domination (where you must shoot from certain spots on the floor to build up points) and an incredibly fun shatter-the-backboard game.
- It's a lot easier to block shots (which unfortunately, means it's also very easier to get your shot stuffed).
- Naturally the NBA is a whole lot better today than it was in the mid-90s (the era of Jordan's first retirement), so there are more good teams than the original, which had some teams that just flat-out sucked.
- You can play on actual simulations of a team's home court, complete with coach and bench players on the sidelines.
- The announcer is a lot more chatty than he used to be. Whether this constitutes an improvement depends on your tolerance level for non sequiturs and endless puns on the word "dunk". I like how he names specific players in his commentary and it just wouldn't be NBA Jam without a cheesy voice shouting out "Boom shaka laka!" every few minutes.
NOT IMPROVEMENTS:
- In the original game, shoving was a lot quicker, so if you missed you could still keep up with your man. In this one, shoving stops you dead in your tracks, so you better get it right or your opponent will soon be taking a dunk on your face.
- As mentioned above, it's a lot easier to get your shot blocked.
- For some reason, classic campaign is really REALLY hard (unless you play it on easy). I don't remember getting blown out by 20+ points every game in the original.
- It's harder to make your CPU opponent shoot because they moved that action to the extra button on the Wii remote. In the original, simply tapping the shoot button while your teammate had the ball caused him to hoist it. Now that just causes your teammate to commit a turnover.
- Apparently you can't shove a guy while he's in midair. That used to be my entire defensive plan.
STAYED THE SAME:
- Three straight buckets still causes your guy to be "ON FIRE!", at which point the dunks become ridiculously insane (or insanely ridiculous)
- The graphics are still pretty low-quality for the system (but who cares)
- The gameplay is still incredibly repetitive (like most classic arcade games)
Overall I feel they kept enough of the things we loved about the classic version while adding several improvements to make this game worth renting. But I don't know how much people who don't know the original would be into it. Nostalgia is a big part of the appeal. Still, it pretty well represents what us classic gamers loved about the era of classic games.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Chillax music
I'm a really mellow guy most of the time. People have to push me over just to see if I'm awake. One thing I like to do is listen to music that just sounds like it's tired. Like the people who made it were tired at the time. Or stoned, if you prefer to think of it that way, which I don't because I've never thought marijuana was THAT relaxing. Anyway, this type of song comes in all different flavors.
indie rock:
electronic:
soul:
reggae:
jazz:
rap:
even metal:
So when you're done listening to music that makes you want to throw things at people or dance like a spastic dinosaur, listen to some of these. Maybe you'll find out what it's like to be me.
indie rock:
electronic:
soul:
reggae:
jazz:
rap:
even metal:
So when you're done listening to music that makes you want to throw things at people or dance like a spastic dinosaur, listen to some of these. Maybe you'll find out what it's like to be me.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Resolution
In 2011 I want to finish the book I'm working on.
I'm not big on resolutions in general. But I like to make one every year just to give myself something to do. And I never make one unless I'm absolutely positive that I can do it. That's why I've had such a good track record with keeping them. This year's one is a little more difficult than previous years, but I still know I can do this. Just need to not be so lazy.
Yours?
I'm not big on resolutions in general. But I like to make one every year just to give myself something to do. And I never make one unless I'm absolutely positive that I can do it. That's why I've had such a good track record with keeping them. This year's one is a little more difficult than previous years, but I still know I can do this. Just need to not be so lazy.
Yours?
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Community vs. Better Off Ted
There's no earthly reason to compare these two shows. They are both worth your time, two excellent examples of television comedy that each deserve a bigger audience.
My point is, watch both of these. But I'm not like that, and frankly I don't think most people are, either. Everybody wants to crown a winner, one show to rule them all. And I am here to do that. Let's break it down by category:
Leading man:
Joel McHale has been killing it on The Soup for years, but it's a little easier to be likable when you're hating on the dregs of reality TV and washed-up celebrities than it is to pull off a multi-faceted, flawed and all too human character like Jeff Winger. Jeff is charismatic, but his "a-hole who slowly learns to love people" shtick reeks of chick flicks and sometimes makes him difficult to sympathize with, especially when (season one spoilers coming up) every woman on the show basically throws herself at him in the finale and his problem is he can't choose between them. Aww. Plus, as the show moves into its second season, he's hardly the focal point of most episodes anymore.
Ted Crisp, on the other hand, is played by Jay Harrington as a good guy working for an evil company. The worst thing you could really say about Ted is he's such a company man. As for the rest, the character is so gosh-darn lovable he makes me use the word "gosh-darn". I'd like to hang out with Jeff and perhaps even be in his study group, but I'd LOVE to have Ted as my boss.
Advantage: Better Off Ted
Cast/characters:
BOT has solid supporting players in Lem, Phil, Linda and especially Veronica (Portia De Rossi, cast MVP hands down, pulling off a role that's completely the opposite of Lindsay Bluth while being just as convincing). But Community brings together the comedic powers of Donald Glover and Danny Pudi (as Troy and Abed, who are basically the Wondertwins of hilarity on this show), Mad Men's Alison Brie (proving she's way more suited to comedy than drama), plus John Oliver, Ken Jeong, and Chevy Chase (in a role that screams "How the hell did I get so washed up? I'm awesome!"). That's not even including recurring characters like Starburns, Dean Pelton, Leonard and others. In fact, Community might have the strongest cast of any comedy show on the air right now.
Advantage: Community
Originality:
One of my problems with TV comedy today is that every new hyped-up show seems to be either a ripoff of The Office or Arrested Development, or some combination thereof. Better Off Ted doesn't quite avoid that trap (it's kind of hard not to notice de Rossi is on this show), but it manages to set its own sort of tone for the most part, especially when they exploit the wacky "mad science" side of Veridian.
Community is one of those premises that just make you think "Why hasn't anybody done this before?" They could easily stretch this concept for about five seasons without becoming derivative or repetitive. The college setting provides endless fodder for weird stories and the diversity of the cast often means a different type of episode each week.
Advantage: Community
Quotability:
Too hard. Only way to resolve this is through a Battle of the Quotes Smackdown:
Better Off Ted - "Friendship. It's the same as stealing."
"The Veridian Foundation... helping the world then telling people about it makes us feel so good. The Veridian Foundation... Helping people. By telling people we're helping the world."
Veronica: Those are just facts, and facts are just opinions, and opinions can be wrong.
Veronica: Oh, God, we have unhappy Germans. Nothing good has ever come from that.
Ted: The potential for a long-lasting light bulb is enormous. In a recent study, people's desire to see things ranked third, right after hitting things and trying to have sex with things.
Linda: You guys are thinking about antlers and tails, aren't you?
Phil: Why do animals get all the best stuff attached to their bodies?
Lem: I would love to have a blowhole.
Lem: Oh, my God. Maybe we're evil scientists.
Phil: (laughing maniacally) I'm sorry. I laugh like that when faced with an unpleasant truth. That's why I got thrown out of that Al Gore movie.
Ted: The implications for weight loss are enormous. And while elective brain surgery doesn't test that great, it still tests better than dieting and exercise.
Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. The environment. Everyone likes it. And so, we do too. That's why we're committed to saving it. Veridian Dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green. It's ridiculously expensive and spending money makes us sad. But we're doing it because we love nature, even when it's being mean or just acting stupid. Veridian Dynamics. Greening our world.
Community - Troy: My uncle was struck by lightning. You'd think it would give you superpowers, but now he just masturbates in movie theaters.
Pierce: Abed, Your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead, know what I mean?
Abed: I don't.
Jeff. You're not alone in this case. Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase 'streets ahead'.
Pierce: Trying? Coined and minted.
Jeff: Why do you have a monkey?
Troy: Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude. Why don't I have 10 of them?
Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, he always went on dope adventures, and if anything stood in his way, he just peed on it.
Vaughn: Actually, everyone is my bro in the whole entire universe because everything is connected. Rocks... eagles... hats.
Troy: Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.
Shirley: You think religion is stupid.
Jeff: No, no. To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. I see the appeal and I would never take it away from anyone, but I would also never stand in line for it.
"East Side, West Side, North Side, South
Vaughn's breath is so bad his butt's mad at his mouth
This rap is by Pierce, Vaughn is dumb
He wears diapers to bed and sucks his mother's thumb
When he wakes up stupid wishing he was me
He has a big poop breakfast and a glass of pee
Then he goes to school where he's stupid again
And everybody hates him even all of his friends
When you come after Pierce, then the battle is on
So this rap goes out to stupid Vaughn"
Advantage: Too hard. Let's call it a draw.
Cancellability (not a word? is now):
Everybody knows cancellation makes the heart grow fonder. There's several reasons for this: unfulfilled potential is always better than mundane reality, shows that stay on the air too long will inevitably start to suck after awhile, it's more fun to root for an underdog than a champion. Mostly I think that after Arrested Development and Firefly got so popular (i.e. post-cancellation), nobody wants to miss the boat on these things anymore.
Community hasn't exactly lit the world on fire ratings-wise, but Better Off Ted's ratings were so abysmally low it's amazing it even lasted a full season, let alone two sets of 13 episodes. Plus, Ted has already been canceled. No contest.
Advantage: Better Off Ted
Heart:
Better Off Ted could pull off some emotional moments when it wanted to, but ultimately it was too absurd of a show to get too sentimental (reminiscent of Arrested Development in that way). Community regularly goes for the TV trope of "characters learn lesson X this week", but somehow they manage to pull it off almost every time. The second season in particular has contained episodes that are almost bittersweet in their resolutions. It's a subjective thing, but I feel that comedy has more impact when it involves characters that we care about, that we care what happens to them. It's the difference between a show like The Simpsons or South Park and a show like Family Guy. No matter how funny the latter can be, it's impossible to feel invested in anything that happens. Comedy doesn't always have to be an empty laugh.
Advantage: Community
Total score: 3-2, and 1 tie. Better Off Ted is one of the funniest comedies in recent memory. It has it all. But Community is streets ahead, and since it's still on the air, has the potential to get even better.
But seriously, watch both shows.
My point is, watch both of these. But I'm not like that, and frankly I don't think most people are, either. Everybody wants to crown a winner, one show to rule them all. And I am here to do that. Let's break it down by category:
Leading man:
Joel McHale has been killing it on The Soup for years, but it's a little easier to be likable when you're hating on the dregs of reality TV and washed-up celebrities than it is to pull off a multi-faceted, flawed and all too human character like Jeff Winger. Jeff is charismatic, but his "a-hole who slowly learns to love people" shtick reeks of chick flicks and sometimes makes him difficult to sympathize with, especially when (season one spoilers coming up) every woman on the show basically throws herself at him in the finale and his problem is he can't choose between them. Aww. Plus, as the show moves into its second season, he's hardly the focal point of most episodes anymore.
Ted Crisp, on the other hand, is played by Jay Harrington as a good guy working for an evil company. The worst thing you could really say about Ted is he's such a company man. As for the rest, the character is so gosh-darn lovable he makes me use the word "gosh-darn". I'd like to hang out with Jeff and perhaps even be in his study group, but I'd LOVE to have Ted as my boss.
Advantage: Better Off Ted
Cast/characters:
BOT has solid supporting players in Lem, Phil, Linda and especially Veronica (Portia De Rossi, cast MVP hands down, pulling off a role that's completely the opposite of Lindsay Bluth while being just as convincing). But Community brings together the comedic powers of Donald Glover and Danny Pudi (as Troy and Abed, who are basically the Wondertwins of hilarity on this show), Mad Men's Alison Brie (proving she's way more suited to comedy than drama), plus John Oliver, Ken Jeong, and Chevy Chase (in a role that screams "How the hell did I get so washed up? I'm awesome!"). That's not even including recurring characters like Starburns, Dean Pelton, Leonard and others. In fact, Community might have the strongest cast of any comedy show on the air right now.
Advantage: Community
Originality:
One of my problems with TV comedy today is that every new hyped-up show seems to be either a ripoff of The Office or Arrested Development, or some combination thereof. Better Off Ted doesn't quite avoid that trap (it's kind of hard not to notice de Rossi is on this show), but it manages to set its own sort of tone for the most part, especially when they exploit the wacky "mad science" side of Veridian.
Community is one of those premises that just make you think "Why hasn't anybody done this before?" They could easily stretch this concept for about five seasons without becoming derivative or repetitive. The college setting provides endless fodder for weird stories and the diversity of the cast often means a different type of episode each week.
Advantage: Community
Quotability:
Too hard. Only way to resolve this is through a Battle of the Quotes Smackdown:
Better Off Ted - "Friendship. It's the same as stealing."
"The Veridian Foundation... helping the world then telling people about it makes us feel so good. The Veridian Foundation... Helping people. By telling people we're helping the world."
Veronica: Those are just facts, and facts are just opinions, and opinions can be wrong.
Veronica: Oh, God, we have unhappy Germans. Nothing good has ever come from that.
Ted: The potential for a long-lasting light bulb is enormous. In a recent study, people's desire to see things ranked third, right after hitting things and trying to have sex with things.
Linda: You guys are thinking about antlers and tails, aren't you?
Phil: Why do animals get all the best stuff attached to their bodies?
Lem: I would love to have a blowhole.
Lem: Oh, my God. Maybe we're evil scientists.
Phil: (laughing maniacally) I'm sorry. I laugh like that when faced with an unpleasant truth. That's why I got thrown out of that Al Gore movie.
Ted: The implications for weight loss are enormous. And while elective brain surgery doesn't test that great, it still tests better than dieting and exercise.
Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. The environment. Everyone likes it. And so, we do too. That's why we're committed to saving it. Veridian Dynamics is turning every one of our buildings 100% green. It's ridiculously expensive and spending money makes us sad. But we're doing it because we love nature, even when it's being mean or just acting stupid. Veridian Dynamics. Greening our world.
Community - Troy: My uncle was struck by lightning. You'd think it would give you superpowers, but now he just masturbates in movie theaters.
Pierce: Abed, Your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead, know what I mean?
Abed: I don't.
Jeff. You're not alone in this case. Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase 'streets ahead'.
Pierce: Trying? Coined and minted.
Jeff: Why do you have a monkey?
Troy: Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude. Why don't I have 10 of them?
Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, he always went on dope adventures, and if anything stood in his way, he just peed on it.
Vaughn: Actually, everyone is my bro in the whole entire universe because everything is connected. Rocks... eagles... hats.
Troy: Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.
Shirley: You think religion is stupid.
Jeff: No, no. To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. I see the appeal and I would never take it away from anyone, but I would also never stand in line for it.
"East Side, West Side, North Side, South
Vaughn's breath is so bad his butt's mad at his mouth
This rap is by Pierce, Vaughn is dumb
He wears diapers to bed and sucks his mother's thumb
When he wakes up stupid wishing he was me
He has a big poop breakfast and a glass of pee
Then he goes to school where he's stupid again
And everybody hates him even all of his friends
When you come after Pierce, then the battle is on
So this rap goes out to stupid Vaughn"
Advantage: Too hard. Let's call it a draw.
Cancellability (not a word? is now):
Everybody knows cancellation makes the heart grow fonder. There's several reasons for this: unfulfilled potential is always better than mundane reality, shows that stay on the air too long will inevitably start to suck after awhile, it's more fun to root for an underdog than a champion. Mostly I think that after Arrested Development and Firefly got so popular (i.e. post-cancellation), nobody wants to miss the boat on these things anymore.
Community hasn't exactly lit the world on fire ratings-wise, but Better Off Ted's ratings were so abysmally low it's amazing it even lasted a full season, let alone two sets of 13 episodes. Plus, Ted has already been canceled. No contest.
Advantage: Better Off Ted
Heart:
Better Off Ted could pull off some emotional moments when it wanted to, but ultimately it was too absurd of a show to get too sentimental (reminiscent of Arrested Development in that way). Community regularly goes for the TV trope of "characters learn lesson X this week", but somehow they manage to pull it off almost every time. The second season in particular has contained episodes that are almost bittersweet in their resolutions. It's a subjective thing, but I feel that comedy has more impact when it involves characters that we care about, that we care what happens to them. It's the difference between a show like The Simpsons or South Park and a show like Family Guy. No matter how funny the latter can be, it's impossible to feel invested in anything that happens. Comedy doesn't always have to be an empty laugh.
Advantage: Community
Total score: 3-2, and 1 tie. Better Off Ted is one of the funniest comedies in recent memory. It has it all. But Community is streets ahead, and since it's still on the air, has the potential to get even better.
But seriously, watch both shows.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Xmas songs I actually like
I don't care for most Xmas songs. They just sound like a bunch of advertising jingles, especially the ones that mention Santa Claus by name.
But I'm not a Scrooge -- I just believe in preserving the true spirit of the season. So in that spirit, here are some of my favorite carols:
(all it reminds me of now is Michael Cera walking around looking sad, yet I still love it)
(I used to play this version while caroling; it was the only way to make it bearable)
(this whole album is good. I just don't feel like posting every song)
(I've never heard this version, but how can it not be good?)
(Clearly this is the best one ever and I don't have to explain why)
But I'm not a Scrooge -- I just believe in preserving the true spirit of the season. So in that spirit, here are some of my favorite carols:
(all it reminds me of now is Michael Cera walking around looking sad, yet I still love it)
(I used to play this version while caroling; it was the only way to make it bearable)
(this whole album is good. I just don't feel like posting every song)
(I've never heard this version, but how can it not be good?)
(Clearly this is the best one ever and I don't have to explain why)
Monday, December 6, 2010
Not Xmas songs
The following songs have nothing to do with any kind of holiday season. Anyone caught playing one of them in an attempt to establish the "spirit of Xmas" will have their DJ card revoked.
1. We Are The World
Understandable. You got this song mixed up with "Do They Know It's Christmas Time". It happens.
2. My Favorite Things
There is no excuse for this one. Not only does it have jack-all to do with Xmas, it totally misses the point of it -- assuming that material things are what makes life better.
3. Baby, It's Cold Outside
Oh sure, it mentions cold weather. That's pretty tenuous grounds for re-appropriating it for the holiday season though, isn't it? Why not include every song that mentions ice or snow? I'd sure like to sing "Immigrant Song" next time we go caroling.
Besides, has anyone ever read the lyrics? It's a date rape song. I wouldn't let my kids listen to it is all I'm saying.
1. We Are The World
Understandable. You got this song mixed up with "Do They Know It's Christmas Time". It happens.
2. My Favorite Things
There is no excuse for this one. Not only does it have jack-all to do with Xmas, it totally misses the point of it -- assuming that material things are what makes life better.
3. Baby, It's Cold Outside
Oh sure, it mentions cold weather. That's pretty tenuous grounds for re-appropriating it for the holiday season though, isn't it? Why not include every song that mentions ice or snow? I'd sure like to sing "Immigrant Song" next time we go caroling.
Besides, has anyone ever read the lyrics? It's a date rape song. I wouldn't let my kids listen to it is all I'm saying.
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